Can these be true?
Actual ads from the Lonely Hearts pages of ‘Ireland’s Own’
Heavy drinker, 35, Cork area. Seeks gorgeous sex addict interested in a man who loves his pints, cigarettes, Glasgow Celtic Football Club and has been known to start fights on Patrick Street at three o’clock in the morning.
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Donegal man, 50, in desperate need of a ride. Anything considered.
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Grossly overweight Louth turf-cutter, 42 years old, Gemini, seeks nimble sex-pot, preferably South American, for tango sessions, candlelit dinners and humid nights of screaming passion. Must have own car and be willing to travel.
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Limerick man, 27, medium build, brown hair, blue eyes, seeks alibi for the night of February 27 between 8 PM and 11:30 PM.
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Artistic Clare woman, 53, petite, loves rainy walks on the
beach, poetry, unusual sea-shells and interesting brown rice dishes, seeks mystic dreamer for companionship, back rubs and more as we bounce along like little tumbling clouds on life’s beautiful crazy journey. Strong stomach essential.
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Ginger haired Galway man, a troublemaker, gets slit-eyed and shitty after a few scoops, seeks attractive, wealthy lady for bail purposes, maybe more.
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Bad tempered, foul-mouthed old bastard, living in a damp cottage in the **** end of Roscommon, seeks attractive 21 year old blonde lady with a lovely chest.
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Optimistic Mayo man, 35, seeks a blonde 20 year old double-jointed super model, who owns her own brewery and has an open-minded twin sister.
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Following a sad recent loss, teetotal Tipperary man, 53, seeks replacement mammy. Must like biscuits and answer to the name Minnie. Thurles area.
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Bitter, disillusioned Dublin man, lately rejected by longtime fiancée, seeks decent, honest, reliable woman, if such a thing still exists in this cruel world of hatchet-faced bitches
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15 Responses to “Can These Be True? I Ask Again.?”
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October 12th, 2009 at 4:32 am
they WOULD be real if people were honest in lonely hearts adverts.
)
You never see something like: Fattish, cynical 30 something, disappointed with love and life in general, looking for anybody, ANYBODY, to proof her wrong.
(that would be mine
October 12th, 2009 at 10:47 am
Only way to find out would be to answer one. Which one turns you on enough to respond to?
October 12th, 2009 at 2:25 pm
lmao!!!
I would have to answer this one:Optimistic Mayo man, 35, seeks a blonde 20 year old double-jointed super model, who owns her own brewery and has an open-minded twin sister.
Just so i could tell him how i p*ssed myself laughing! I love a good sence of humor in a man!
x
October 12th, 2009 at 3:54 pm
well what can you say to them lie you get more of a response
October 12th, 2009 at 5:33 pm
I’m reading that, and all I could picture was Onslo from “Keeping Up Appearances”
October 12th, 2009 at 10:06 pm
Yes Its true that is how Irish people betray themselves.
I am Irish from Ireland myself but I do not not consider myself a typical Irish person
October 13th, 2009 at 12:22 am
Did you actually see these first hand? They’re hilarious! I’d heard before of lonely hearts ads in the back of Buy and Sell! I do love Ireland!
October 13th, 2009 at 4:25 am
I’ll bet they are true. And I also bet they get responses.
October 13th, 2009 at 5:29 am
F*ckin’ embarrassing when your family learn how to use your P.C. isn’t it ?
October 13th, 2009 at 6:36 am
Can’t say…
But now there are many disturbing images in my mind.
October 13th, 2009 at 12:28 pm
‘Honesty’ is the best policy??
October 13th, 2009 at 3:37 pm
lololololololol i dont know mabey
October 13th, 2009 at 6:05 pm
wouldn’t doubt a bit that they are true. love the one about the open minded twin sister. hysterical.
October 13th, 2009 at 9:49 pm
I really hope so – bet they’re inundated with responses!! lmao
October 14th, 2009 at 4:12 am
yeah those can be real, they might be joking but dont let that fool you those probably are real ads