Comments on: Can Someone Review My Essay, My Professor Says It Does Not Flow.?

By: sweet simplicity

sweet simplicity — Thu, 26 Nov 2009 17:29:53 +0000

i think your professor is a dunce because that essay flows beautifully.

By: xoalexx

xoalexx — Thu, 26 Nov 2009 13:12:58 +0000

I don’t think your proffesor read it right. I think it was good but try improving your sentence structure by adding different words rather than just the over used words. You know what I mean?

By: Nutritio

Nutritio — Thu, 26 Nov 2009 09:23:18 +0000

Sounds good to me. I think his expectations are way too high. You seem to have done some good research and provided facts, and gone into good detail.
I’m a qualified clinical nutritionist and I can’t see what’s wrong with it.
Well done!!

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Thu, 26 Nov 2009 08:32:10 +0000

It’s good but when writing an informitive piece you are not supposed to talk directly to the reader. Make sure you included good topic sentences and think of ways to make the transition flow smoothly by including stuff from the last paragraph in the starter sentence for your next paragraph

By: Mr. C.J. Harlem

Mr. C.J. Harlem — Thu, 26 Nov 2009 06:43:05 +0000

This actually has the potential to be a grade of a B+, maybe higher. However, your ideas need to be organized in a better manner/fashion. Your ideas are great but you need to organize to entire essay in paragraph format:
1. Introduction- present the thesis.
2. Body- argument 1
3. Body- argument 2
4. Body- argument 3
5. Conclusion- present your final thoughts…
-Prof. Davenport, Sociology Department